Stimulus Suggestion: Go on a Somali Cruise
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, Economic Stimulus Payment, Global financial crisis, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Shirtweek- the best blog in australia references!, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I have just been passed this amazing suggestion by my lame co-worker! He has found a site that are selling Somali cruises that “sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates”. I mean everyone is looking for a bit of adventure aren’t they?
They even, “guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back, including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included)“. Anyways it made me chuckle on this fine Friday afternoon. I hope that if you haven’t got your money yet that it comes in the next day!!1!!
Somalian Pirate Flag
Stimulus Suggestion- Singing Lessons!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulus Package Suggestion
So this is part one of the “My Brother is Getting Married” posts. My brother is getting married next month, and I’ve been asked to read a Bible verse at the wedding. I’ve decided to spend my $900 on singing lessons in attempt to convince my brother (and his bride) to let me sing Bon Jovi’s Bed of Roses instead of 1st Corinthians 13. It’s probably the best idea I have ever had.
Important postcode news!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulus Package News
I have decided to post all of the postcodes that I have received over the past week on this page and on the Receivers page. I am also claiming that I have managed to work out the algorithm for the sending out of stimulus packages! LOLZER. Well it’s day 9 and I still haven’t got my money! My lame co-worker and my boss got their money today!! So not keen! I need some hope!!
Day 7 of the Stimulus Season…I suggest some relaxation!
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Well I’ve just arrived back to work after the 4 day weekend and am not too keen. I also have not received my $900!! You would think after all this advocating the $900 that the Ruddz would want to expodite it to me…or give me one of these mysterious triple payments that some people are talking about! Anyways, I actually had somebody Twitter me and recommend that I purchase one of their relaxation packages! So I had a look, and it turns out you can get a chocolate massage that costs $185 for 2 hours. To be honest, I am a large chocolate fan and the thought that I can pay a possibly attractive woman to massage chocolate onto me for 2 hours warms my soul! Anyways, I think they are giving away a $1000 of massages if you sign up for their newsletter! I was stoked that someone actually approached me with their own idea…it’s a shame they didn’t give me a free massage!!! Come on!!
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- Chocolate simulation!
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- Applying the chocolate…
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- I’m assuming this is how you feel after your chocolate massage!
Happy Easter Stimulation! Predicting when you will get your package!!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
So I’ve had a few emails from people that have received their very own stimulus package!!!!!!!! Hooray! They have been updated on the “lucky ones” page, and I think I have a big enough sample to tell you if you are going to get your stimulus package soon…
Basically you have one or more of the following characterstics-
1) Love Delta Goodrem’s music, or actually BE Delta Goodrem (that’s the claim)
2) Be from NSW
3) Have the money deposited in your account
4) Like to eat peanuts
5) Be the actual “Sharona” that The Knacks are singing about in the classic “My Sharona”
6) Be Kate’s mum or a direct blood relative of Kate.
I hope for your sake, that you fit this profile. I’m thinking I have quite a wait on my hands!!
Also, is it weird to put jam on a hot cross bun? I think it is! But maybe I’m the weird one?!And seeing as it’s Easter, here is an awesome Easter pictures!
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- Jesus+Stimulus Package=Awesome
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- Jesus+Stimulus Package=Awesome
Students may end up with $1850!!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulus Package News, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Breaking news….
Due to the “urgent” nature of the stimulus package, no-one bothered to double check to see if it was fair/would work. According to news.com.au “UP to 340,000 students across Australia are set to pocket a $1850 double bonus from the Federal Government because of a loophole in the national stimulus package.”
Yikes! So yeah it seems as though students that work and entitled to both the payment for students and the payment for workers. I’m not 100% sure on whether this is all true, but if news.com.au says it’s true…it must be! lulz0rz.
Bright Feet Slippers!
Filed under: $900, $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Payment, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Stimulation Contract, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Have you ever broken a toe or fallen over an object at night while moving around a darkened house? How about trying to rearrange your samurai sword collection with no lights on? Well worry no more!!! I present to you the Bright Feet lighted Slipper! Not only will you prevent your own grievous bodily harm but you will save hundreds on electricity bills!! Sure they would probably cost you $100 shipped from ebay to begin with, but surely thats worth never having to turn a light on in your house ever again!!! Just something to think about I guess….
Golf Club Toilet.
Filed under: $900, $900 stimulus package ftw, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Yes, you read correctly…GOLF CLUB TOILET. How many times have you been out on the golf course and really needed to pee? I know right, 100 maybe 200 times, well worry no more! You can blow you $900 on one of these amazing contraptions. Before doing so, I would probably watch the video to really understand what you are buying into, and yes it’s totally legit. They are $25US, and I don’t know if you can get them shipped here. But I would say you could probably get an entire “set” for your $900…
Hire Thailand for a party!
Filed under: $900, $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Payment, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Uncategorized
I received an interesting email the other day that proposed that if enough people pooled their money together, you could charter a 747, hire thailand and throw a massive party there! It’s a pretty incredible idea. $900X400 people= $360,000!!! Thats one pretty crazy party! I’m not sure about the feasability of Thailand as I’m not on the best terms with the consulate after “the incident”, but how bout a Whitsunday Island or maybe a motel in Dubbo?! Any exotic location would do really. What an awesome way to forget your financial distress and dismay!!
Click to see full size!
Weekend Update: Buy an Egyptian balloon!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, 900 stimulus package, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I’m sure that everyone has seen this buy now, but I thought it would be good for a weekend update for Blow my 900. There is a guy on ebay who is selling an “Angry balloon possibly from Egypt“. Who knows how much this puppy will go for, so you may need all of your $900 stimulus package for it! Enjoy your weekend!!! Only 22 days til stimulation!!!
A smart man once said
"Give a man $900 and he can eat for a week, tell a man to vote Liberal and he wouldn't have needed the $900 to begin with."
