Stimulus Suggestion: Swine Flu Perephenalia!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, Shirtweek- the best blog in australia references!, Stimulus Package Suggestion
Everyone is thinking it, so why not do something about it! If you are afraid of the swine flu, maybe you could purchase some awesome novelty surgical masks! But if you aren’t afraid of it and really want to throw caution to the wind, you could buy an amazing Shirt Week T-shirt! Sure you will probably cop alot of backlash from heaps of people, but surely it’s worth it?
You- “Yeah you probably are write Guy who writes Blow My 900″
Me- “Yes, yes I am.”
Got swine flu? Somebody call the hambulance!
Stimulus Suggestion: Novelty mops!!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulation Contract, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season
Well we all remember those awesome Baby Mops that flooded the internetz not that long ago….now I have something that is probably slightly more legitimate! Walk ‘n’ Clean Mop Slippers easily mop your floors as you walk!! Yeah!!! 2 birds one stone much?? I think this is THE defintion. Combining a necessary life function whilst doing a menial chore! It would be like if they could combine urinating with folding the washing. Sure that’s not the best example, but you get the drift…right? Only $24.95 Australian +P/H!!
Stimulus Suggestion: Go on a Somali Cruise
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, Economic Stimulus Payment, Global financial crisis, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Shirtweek- the best blog in australia references!, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I have just been passed this amazing suggestion by my lame co-worker! He has found a site that are selling Somali cruises that “sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates”. I mean everyone is looking for a bit of adventure aren’t they?
They even, “guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back, including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included)“. Anyways it made me chuckle on this fine Friday afternoon. I hope that if you haven’t got your money yet that it comes in the next day!!1!!
Somalian Pirate Flag
Stimulus Suggestion: Dead cats!
Filed under: 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Package, Global financial crisis, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I am not fond of cats. Really. If you know me, then you will definately know this to be true. I like dogs…in fact Dogz Rule! I like the fact that they are happy to see you,are energetic and enjoy chasing after a tennis ball just as much as I do! Cat people are like…pfft, why would you want a pet to always be happy with you, cats have personality. And to that I say this…you want to enjoy having a pet, you don’t want them to bite you for no reason! Just imagine that I actually had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t want one that was angry all the time and bit me (without asking). Case and point! So today I recommend you buy the book 101 Uses for a Dead Cat. I have not read it, but I can only assume it is totally awesome!
And now the award for the most overused image in “funny” emails goes to….
Stimulus Suggestion: $900 worth of hot chips
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Economic Stimulus Package, Global financial crisis, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season
So I had an email the other day from someone that said….’I've always wondered what $900 worth of hot chips would like, now I have that opportunity’. I couldn’t agree more. Back in the day $2 worth of chips used to be enough. Now you go to fish and chip shop and you have to order a “small chips” for $3.50. WTH? I miss the good old days. Anyways, THEN I came across the Hot Chip Vending Machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 This is an Australian company that sell a vending machine that spits out hot chips in under 2 minutes! Amazing!
Stimulus Suggestion- Lucid Dreaming!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Global financial crisis, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season
I’m sure many of you (like myself) come home after a long day at work and love to relax! I find that there is no better way to end AND start the day than with a great sleep. I enjoy sleep, I won’t lie to you. Some days when I wake I wish that I was a professional sleeper, or some kind of insomnia medication tester! Anyways, I thought…how can I enjoy sleep even more?! LUCID DREAMING OF COURSE!!! For those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s when you are aware that you are dreaming and can actively participate and often manipulate the dream world and it’s surroundings!! Like last night I was on on a holiday with your mum in Las Vegas but that got kinda boring (you know how your mum can get!) so I turned into a jet-plane, bombed the Russians and then crashed into the sun. It’s awesome, so today I propose you buy a copy of Lucid Dreams in 30 days…it’s only $8.76 (US+P/H)! Deal! Maybe we can just lucid dream the whole way through the GFC!!
Stimulate your dreams!!!
Stimulus Suggestion: A whole chicken in a can!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
This was brought to my attention a matter of minutes ago, and I deemed it so important that I am posting its amazingness RIGHT NOW!! This wonderful Friday afternoon I propose that you spend your $900 stimulus money on CHICKEN IN A CAN!!!!! This is not a joke people! This ain’t Seaworld…this is real as it gets!!! Check out the site and according to the person who sent it to me the pictures, “are gross…and cannot be unseen!”. I believe every word of that. What scares me more…is that it is all legit, you can buy a 6-pack of Chicken in a Can from Amazon for $49.99 (US). WOW.
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- Yeah, it’s chicken in a can.
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- I wasn’t kidding
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- Seriously, chicken in a can
Stimulus Suggestion- Straws!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Why straws?! Cause straws are awesome, silly! Sometimes I wish there was a foldable straw that I could stick in my pocket and carry around. I would probably name her Sassie. Sassie the Straw. I once met a girl called Sassie, it was one of the greatest things ever. Anways, today I propose that we create the world’s most amazing straw by spending $900 on these amazing straws!I would love to take $900 worth to the cricket or footy to see how far around it would go! Imagine drinking a guys beer like 50m away and him not even knowing!! Brilliant!!
Stimulus Suggestion- The Entire Samuel L Jackson back-catalogue.
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Economic Stimulus Package, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season
For the past week or so, I have been obsessed with Samuel L Jackson. Someone passed along to me a video of the TV edit of Snakes On a Plane and I have been wetting my pants with laughter ever since. I was perusing IMDB and having a look at Samuel’s body of work, turns out he’s been in 101 movies so far! I propose that with your $900 you could purchase every movie that Samuel L Jackson has ever been in!!!! Which is $9 a movie and totally do-able! It’s pretty crazy, turns out that his movies have made upwards of $4.5billion! My personal faves would have to be- Pulp Fiction, Snakes On a Plane, Jurassic Park and of course The Search for One-eye Jimmy!
Stimulus Suggestion- Gaming jacket to increase your 1337 h4xX0rzz!
Filed under: $900 government payment, Economic Stimulus Package, Economic Stimulus Payment, Stimulus Package Suggestion
I don’t know about you, but I’m particularly anti-social. Well it’s not so much that I hate society but that society hates me. I’m so lonely. Anyways, I have overcome this crippling agoraphobia through online gaming!! There is no better to escape the real world then by creating your own personal world where you are totally awesome, everyone loves you and no-one pities you for not having a lover or any kind of success! So in order to enhance this situation I recommend purchasing a First Person Shooter Gaming Vest!!! You may not be able to experience real emotions and interactions with people in the actual world but this jacket will help feel the impact of what it might feel like if someone was to shoot you! What is more awesome than that? Life-long companionship? A successful career? I think NOT!! These jackets are only $138 US+P&H, so I’m guessing you could probably secure one for like $350! Bargain! A small price to pay, I think you’ll agree!
A smart man once said
"Give a man $900 and he can eat for a week, tell a man to vote Liberal and he wouldn't have needed the $900 to begin with."
