Stimulus Suggestion: Go on a Somali Cruise
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, $950, Economic Stimulus Payment, Global financial crisis, How will I get my $900 stimulus payment?, Shirtweek- the best blog in australia references!, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season, Uncategorized, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I have just been passed this amazing suggestion by my lame co-worker! He has found a site that are selling Somali cruises that “sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates”. I mean everyone is looking for a bit of adventure aren’t they?
They even, “guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money back, including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included)“. Anyways it made me chuckle on this fine Friday afternoon. I hope that if you haven’t got your money yet that it comes in the next day!!1!!
Somalian Pirate Flag
Stimulus Suggestion: Dead cats!
Filed under: 900 stimulus package, Economic Stimulus Package, Global financial crisis, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I am not fond of cats. Really. If you know me, then you will definately know this to be true. I like dogs…in fact Dogz Rule! I like the fact that they are happy to see you,are energetic and enjoy chasing after a tennis ball just as much as I do! Cat people are like…pfft, why would you want a pet to always be happy with you, cats have personality. And to that I say this…you want to enjoy having a pet, you don’t want them to bite you for no reason! Just imagine that I actually had a girlfriend, I wouldn’t want one that was angry all the time and bit me (without asking). Case and point! So today I recommend you buy the book 101 Uses for a Dead Cat. I have not read it, but I can only assume it is totally awesome!
And now the award for the most overused image in “funny” emails goes to….
Stimulus News : Matt and Kathryn haven’t received their stimulus!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, Shirtweek- the best blog in australia references!, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Upon request from the Chocolate Potato chip lady herself, I have been asked to let you all know that her and Matt (her friend? pet monkey? not sure!) have not received their money yet! That is all.
If you have stories of zero stimulati0n and want to tell the world here is your platform! Also…if you have amazing artwork that depicts how your lack of stimulation makes you feel, please send it in!!
matt and kathryn
Stimulus Suggestion- Chocolate covered potato chips!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, Shirtweek- the best blog in australia references!, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Ok, so I got an email today saying that Aldi was selling chocolate covered potato chips. To be honest, these are two of my favourite things. I mean if Zooey Deschanel made me a spearmint milkshake, that would probably be the best, but I will settle for chocolate chips! I cannot substantiate the claims that these exist, but if they did, I couldn’t think of anything better to spend me money on! Also, if anyone shops at Aldi, could you please confirm that these (what I have deemed) leprechauns of the junk food world actually exist! HOLD THE PRESS— The original emailer (Kathryn) went out and took a photo for me!!!!1! Amazing!
chocolate chips from Aldi!!!!
Stimulation has occured!! I am stimulated!!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package News, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
It’s finally happened! Last night in my sleep Kevin Rudd graced me with his presence/presents and stimulated me!! Hooray!
So everyone that hasn’t received their money yet…don’t worry…I’m sure it’s on its way! It was the first time I’ve been stimulated by someone named Kevin and for the most part it was pretty painless (the wait nearly killed me though!).
If you are unsure about your payment…give the ATO a call on -1300 686 636!! Tell them Kruddler sent you!! No, probably don’t do that!
kevin rudd stimulation
Stimulus Suggestion: A whole chicken in a can!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package Suggestion, Stimulus Season, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
This was brought to my attention a matter of minutes ago, and I deemed it so important that I am posting its amazingness RIGHT NOW!! This wonderful Friday afternoon I propose that you spend your $900 stimulus money on CHICKEN IN A CAN!!!!! This is not a joke people! This ain’t Seaworld…this is real as it gets!!! Check out the site and according to the person who sent it to me the pictures, “are gross…and cannot be unseen!”. I believe every word of that. What scares me more…is that it is all legit, you can buy a 6-pack of Chicken in a Can from Amazon for $49.99 (US). WOW.
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- Yeah, it’s chicken in a can.
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- I wasn’t kidding
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- Seriously, chicken in a can
NSW= Multiple Stimulationz! + the funniest blow my 900 comments!
Filed under: $900 government payment, $900 stimulus package ftw, Economic Stimulus Package, Global financial crisis, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
So if you’re in NSW, chances are your probably got stimulated last night, I have like a bazillion people report that they got their money last night. So hooray for you. If you are worried about your money, why not give the ATO a call…I’m sure they would LOVE to hear from you!!!!!! 1300 686 636!!
Also I thought I would list some of my favourite blow my 900 comments/emails so far!
- I have a disorder where I think im the fat kid from hey dad…Comments-Im going to fill the bathtub with coco pops and have a bath in them and eat my way out.
- Jason- I’m addicted to cooking in the nude
- Jonny- I like to draw dead cats:) Comments-i got my 900 today…wass sooo stimulated i drew 2 dead cats!
- Dk likes to sneak up to unsuspecting pelicans and give them a hug..Comments-ninjas are everywhere
- Travis is planning on offering Jelena Dokic the $900 to see her boobs
- Delta Goodrem’s estranged Uncle, name is a symbol (like Prince), received it by carrier pigeon, has peanut allergies and spent the money on drugs and cheap plastic ornaments from asian junk $2 stores.
NSW is encountering multiple stimulationszZZ!!!
Stimulus Suggestion- Straws!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
Why straws?! Cause straws are awesome, silly! Sometimes I wish there was a foldable straw that I could stick in my pocket and carry around. I would probably name her Sassie. Sassie the Straw. I once met a girl called Sassie, it was one of the greatest things ever. Anways, today I propose that we create the world’s most amazing straw by spending $900 on these amazing straws!I would love to take $900 worth to the cricket or footy to see how far around it would go! Imagine drinking a guys beer like 50m away and him not even knowing!! Brilliant!!
Stimulus Suggestion: A date for my brother’s wedding.
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
This is the second part to “My Brother is Getting Married” posts…and well to my loyal followers, I know what you are thinking…this is TOTALLY like your ‘A date for your 10 year high school reunion‘ post…and you’re probably right. But this is a more pressing matter. I have til like September to find a date for my 10 year reunion, actually I could probably even find a date I didn’t have to pay for (take that Sarah Gillespie!). So I’m thinking that the wedding is in 1 month, so I should be able to ‘arrange’ a date by then. It’s in Sydney, so if anyone is keen for a good time, let me know. I’m not sure whether I’d be all that excited to “pay” you per-se, but I could buy you a dress, corsage, and a dr pepper. This isn’t a joke. Plz leave a comment.
Click to enlarge the pictures!
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- Aptly titled- “My Brother’s Wedding”
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- I figure once you become a part of the family, things like this will happen.
Stimulus Suggestion: Let’s buy the K Rudd’s house!!
Filed under: $900 stimulus package ftw, Stimulus Package Suggestion, When will I get my $900 stimulus payment?
I had an exciting email the other day from a gentleman who had the incredible idea to purchase “The Lodge” (the PM’s house, not this movie) and “Kirribilli House”. He went on to say,
“So much of my money would be used to maintain these nice homes every year. I will never get to live in or even use a sheet to eat on the carpet in any of these Houses under the current arrangement and that disturbs me.”
He proposes an interesing idea, we should all pitch in and buy these houses, that way whenever we are in Sydney/Canberra we have somewhere to stay! Also, it will feel as though we really do own a part of this country!!Power to the people! Also, we can charge Rudd for rent!! It’s this simple- if we put in 20 cents each we could spend $1.6 million dollars on buying his house/s!
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- The only decent picture I could find for the lodge!
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- kirribilli house
A smart man once said
"Give a man $900 and he can eat for a week, tell a man to vote Liberal and he wouldn't have needed the $900 to begin with."
